I have created the possibility of Multi-Dimensional Greatness!
I believe that each of us can best serve ourselves, others and the world by fully expressing our greatness for the world – check out Marianne Williamson’s quote below – but until recently I have had it that my greatness needed to look a certain way, and to not achieve that was my failure.
Earlier this year I had my first book published: “Changing the World is Child’s Play.” I launched a website and my education business. I started blogging and Facebook sharing. I was sailing out on unfamiliar seas, vulnerable, really putting myself out there, I had a vision of really changing the world through education about parenting, children and child’s play. I was heading towards my fixed view of my expression of greatness for the world when I received a few knocks. Some people didn’t share my vision, some weren’t interested in supporting my journey, I was even asked to tone it down. I reacted to these knocks as I had as a child when I’d disappointed my parents or my friends didn’t “get it”. I quietly decided I’d failed, that it was all too hard to be this greatness I was supposed to be. I limped on, licking my wounds, sharing my feelings of lost direction and confusion with some, pretending to others that all was ok, but all the while playing smaller and smaller. This state further manifested with physical ailments and the return of “the grey” (my emotional down). I attempted to maintain my integrity by meeting obligations I’d commited to and nervously taking on a little more, digging deep to generate the education sessions so it looked to the world like I was still playing for greatness but then sliding back into hiding the moment the spotlight was off me.
My energy and motivation, the sparkle in my eye, passion for my purpose, excitement in the journey, my true expressions of greatness have been missing.
I’ve been attending a Landmark seminar series considering my relationship with money and, like with the rest of my life, I’ve been playing small: hiding in the back, pretending to be in integrity but really just limping through like I have the rest of my life. Last session I finally admitted to my sharing neighbour and team that I’ve been a fraud, that I’ve not really wanted to be there, that I’m in this uncomfortable space of lacking direction and clarity and fearing grasping the seminar series (and my life) by the hands and playing full out. I realised that I am very stingy with using money for myself and that this reflects in my stinginess in how I care for myself also. This was when I realised that what has been missing for me in recent months is greatness.
I then created the possibility of Multi-Dimensional Greatness – including being great at caring for myself, which is what I feel will be the most beneficial to me right now to support my life to work and other greatness to shine. Eventually, as I practice this great care for myself, it will be established as just what I do. Also I’ve commited to being open to my greatness being expressed, and changing, day to day, moment to moment and taking many different forms.
My greatness is the most generous gift I can offer to the world. I commit now to seeing the wide and multi-dimensional realm which my greatness can encompass and playing full out in this realm for myself, others and the world.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson, from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992